Reading, Writing & Pondering

I started reading books by Dan Allender about 27 years ago. I learned about him from a Christian counselor that had studied under him. Since then, I have read most of his books. I always learn something from his books. The Deep-Rooted Marriage by Dan Allender and Steve Call is a truly insightful book full of practical advice and many personal stories.  "Story"  is a theme running through many of the books I have read by Dan, including this one. We all have a story that starts with our birth. When we get married, we bring our individual stories together to start a new story together, so to speak, forged of two people. Through this author, I also see story themes in the Bible and this book also includes some Biblical references but it also makes clear that God is not out to shame us and also talks some about spiritual abuse. My family of origin was bathed in shame so I think this is a key reason I like his books. I always feel "safe" with the author's words when ...

  I listened to the audiobook version of If My Husband Would Change, I would be Happy (& Other Myths Wives Believe ) by Rhonda Stoppe.  The audiobook is read by the author and she has a casual tone to her reading style. I had mixed feelings about this book.This author is a pastor's wife. She said she and her husband often do marriage counseling. He chimes in with his views at the end of the chapters--except she reads that part too. I wish that he read that part instead of her as it would be more meaningful to me to hear the shift in voice from female to male on the part written by the male.  If My Husband Would Change offers advice that I think would be most helpful to young married people. However, it may also be helpful to those who have been married for awhile. She does share a couple stories that I found rather cringe--like the story of their honeymoon trip to Old Faithful where she takes a laxative after being constipated on the trip and then goes for a hike. Yi...

Are you a middle-aged woman thinking you will never love again? Wedding Bells After Fifty by Autumn Marie is a small book full of big stories about women who found true love as an older woman. Autumn Marie shares the stories of ten different older woman who got married later in life. Each of the woman are very different and the stories of how they met and got married is very different. Yet, in each of these stories the women found someone that clicked with their personality. I am actually not the target audience of this book in that I am a middle-aged woman but I am already happily married to my husband for nearly twenty years. The stories in this book are encouraging but they also offer things to think about in merging families and personalities that an older woman should consider. Since most of my blog readers are people of faith I would mention that while they talk about faith in some of the stories, in several of them, the couples often live together before marriage and don...

It is a rare treat to read a marriage book that captivates me as much as Confessions of a Happily Married Man by Joshua L. Rogers. I read much of this book in one day. In Confessions of a Happily Married Man , Rogers shares much of the story of his marriage coming from his heart. After the introduction, written by Greg Smalley from Focus on the Family, Rogers shares how he met his wife, Raquel, fell in love and were married within 9 months. Throughout the book, Rogers shares story after story of how God worked in their relationship to grow them both up to be more like Jesus to each other. Interestingly enough, with God, they had started working on each other shortly after Rogers proposed and his future wife accepted the proposal. Rogers candidly shares about how the couple worked out their issues around mundane things such as chores to how they worked out much bigger challenges such as in-law challenges, health issues, having children and a cross-country move. At the end of this b...

We long for a marriage that lasts for a life time full of love and happy memories. Yet, the divorce statistics are fairly high in today's world. How do we create a marriage full of lasting love? Kim Kimberling gives a lot of solid advice and answers in his latest book, 14 Keys to Lasting Love . There are 14 chapters in 14 Keys to Lasting Love that correspond with the 14 keys. Topics such as being friends with your spouse, how children can change the relationship, how to do conflict, how to handle money, how to keep the spark in your marriage through the years, and a whole lot more. In each chapter, he gives a lot of advice and examples from other couples in his work as a marriage counselor. He also shares a lot of personal information on how he and his wife and maintained their marriage for forty years. At the end of each chapter, he offers several key questions for couples to think about and ask each other. Then it ends with a sort of action each couple can take to improve...

After more than 17 years of marriage, our marriage is in a good place, but I still enjoy an occasional marriage book. I found Fierce Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick to be a inspiring read and full of encouragement for couples to keep their marriage centered in Christ if they have been married awhile and to start with their marriage in Christ if they are newlyweds. Fierce Marriage starts out with the Fredericks sharing their personal story of their early marriage years. Then throughout the book they encourage couples through their story to keep the marriage covenant, to keep their marriage centered on Christ and what that means, to communicate and connect fully, to agree on how they spend their money and steward their resources, how to fight fairly and how to fight for their marriage. Each chapter in the book shares stories from Ryan and Selena with a little bit from each of their viewpoints. At the end of each chapter, are a few questions to ask and reflect on together. I...

Are you looking to spice up your love life? If you are looking for some fun ideas to keep the passion, romance and fun in your marriage The Mediterranean Love Plan could be the book for you. Stephen and Misty Arterburn share ideas for keeping their relationship interesting. With a subtitle of Seven Secrets to Life-long Passion, The Mediterranean Love Plan reveals ways to enhance aspects of your relationship: through attunement, playfulness, savoring food, enjoying beauty, creativity, health and longevity, and blending the sacred with the sexual. The Arterburns (along with writer Becky Johnson) share many examples from their own lives, examples from other couples they know and research from countries all over the world, with emphasis on the Mediterranean countries. Stephen and Misty share how these other cultures often include these 7 relationship aspects into their daily lives better than our American culture. The end of each chapter includes a list of practical ways to apply...

Traditional wedding vows often have spouses vowing to love and to cherish each other. However, if you are like me, you remember that you are to love each other but that word, "cherish" can get lost in the day to day life after saying those vows. Cherish by bestselling author Gary Thomas helps spouses understand just what it means to truly cherish their spouse. Cherish offers a lot of practical insights and advice to living a better life as a couple, cherishing your spouse and making your marriage better then you could imagine.  Throughout the book, Thomas shares stories from his marriage, from other couples and wisdom from the Bible to help you better understand the art of cherishing your spouse. This book is easy to read and understand. . .and honestly helps you want to cherish your spouse better each day as you read through it. I have to say Cherish was such a helpful book for me on marriage. I could see so many ways that I could better cherish my husband after readi...

If anyone could help you improve your sex life, Dr. Kevin Leman has good advice to help you do just that. In his new release, Have a New Sex Life By Friday , Dr. Leman shares a lot of information on improving your sex life. . .and your marriage in this book. As you work your way through a week of improving intimacy with your spouse, Dr. Leman shares on Monday why women need sex, on Tuesday why men want sex, on Wednesday how other people in your lives (past and present) affect your sex life, on Thursday how to use your words to help improve and shape your sex life and on Friday he shares how to add spice to your sex life. Have a New Sex Life by Friday is full of good information on how to make your sex life a "Wow" sex life. Dr. Leman has worked as a therapist for over 30 years and has been married for over 40 years. He shares a lot of basic information that many couples may not know, or they may need to be reminded of when their sex life begins to wai...

Lists to Love By for Busy Wives and Lists to Love By for Busy Husbands are two books that would be great to read to start the new year out on the right foot for your marriage. The best part is that these little books don't take a lot of time and yet your marriage can reap the rewards of your efforts if you will read and apply them regularly. Each Lists to Love By book contains thirty lists. A few of the lists included are: 7 truths about Marriage, Five Things Husbands (or wives) wish Husbands (or wives) knew, 5 ways to use body language to connect, 6 things to do when you're lonely in your marriage and 8 expectations for a great marriage. At the end of each list the authors have included a section entitled, Taking the Next Step. This section gives the reader a few questions to think about to apply the list they just read to their own marriage. Ideally, for the best results, both the husband and wife would each read a Lists to Love By book and work together to improv...

Whether you are going to be married or have been married for many years, I think Created for Connection could be one of the most helpful books that you will ever read to make your relationship the best that it can be. Sue Johnson with Kenneth Sanderfer share relationship principles that will have you looking at your relationship in a whole new way. Sue Johnson is the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and according to Dr. John Gottman is "the best couple therapist in the world." This therapy in Created for Connection helps couples create "a stronger, more secure relationship not only between partners, but between us and God." The book encourages couples  to understand that they are attached to and dependent on their partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent and that we are on God to nurture, sooth and protect us. Problems occur when that fails to happen at certain times in the relationship. Johnson offers couples seven transform...